Have your reading tastes changed?

 

Mary_Cassatt_The_Reader_1877

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Last weekend, I had the good fortune to stumble upon Marcy Campbell’s terrific essay “Laugh, and the Book Club Laughs With You.”  She writes about the challenges of finding just the right book for her book club — a club made up of moms whose tastes have changed over the years, gradually eschewing the heavy books for the lighter ones.  Campbell — a writer and mom herself — speculates on  why these  intelligent, curious women are less and less likely to want to read a book that ventures into serious, difficult territory.  (Check the article out — it’s a great read).

And wow, I could relate.

Once upon a time, I read lots of intense, depressing novels.  I didn’t read them because they were depressing; I read them because they were well-written, and because I figured that they would probably offer lots of keen insight into the human condition.  And they did.  But somewhere along the way, my tastes changed.   And — as Campbell found in her own life  – motherhood had a lot to do with it.

It’s not just that I have less time to read, although that is true. (Even when my life is at its craziest, I have to find time for books — it’s like breathing to me.)   It’s rather that parenting – in my case, being a mom who also has a job outside the home — drains a lot out of me.  To use a wonderfully British word, by the end of the day, I’m knackered.  The kids are in bed, the schoolwork is prepped for tomorrow, and I do not want to read anything heavy or angst-y.  I want a cozy mystery.  I want a lovely memoir.  I want Miss Read.  I want something that will help me unwind, melt into the armchair, and — later — melt into sleep.

Campbell points out that the moms in her book club also want to avoid certain topics in their fiction– primarily, anything having to do with the death of a child.  I get that, too.  Gone are the days when I could read Beloved and marvel at Toni Morrison’s mastery of the language, with the story’s tragedy safely in the realm of the imaginary.  Now, any story involving children being hurt is just too real to me, because there are two very sweet faces I can superimpose on the characters’.  I simply don’t want to go there.

Yes, I feel a certain guilt about all this.  I hate feeling that motherhood has made me less literarily daring than I used to be.  My changing tastes seems to confirm some of the insidious stereotypes about how becoming a mom makes you less interesting, less intellectual.

But then I let myself off the hook.  Because one could also say that motherhood has made me more aware of certain aspects of the human condition than I was before.   I have more emotional nerve endings than I used to, and that is itself a kind of spiritual intelligence that has made my life much richer.  In fact, spiritual books — memoirs, books on prayer, reflections on the intersection of life and religion — are also a larger part of my reading diet than they ever used to be.  Books on spirituality seem to neutralize some of the angst and pain I find in fiction, and in life — or, at least, they give me a way to make sense of it all.

It’s not that I never read serious fiction or tough stuff, or that I never will again.  (In my life as an English teacher, I routinely read tragic literature, books about small boys on an island trying to kill each other or migrant families losing everything in a flood.  Admittedly, it helps when you’ve read the book fifteen times and know what’s coming up.)  But I do have to acknowledge that, over time, my reading habits have changed in ways I could not have anticipated.  And there is a certain power in understanding why.

What about you?  Have your reading tastes changed over time?  What do you read now that you never used to before?

Mary Cassatt, The Reader

4 Responses to Have your reading tastes changed?

  1. This is such an interesting idea – will have to check out the article you recommended. My frustration with book clubs has always been the opposite problem – I’m the one who wants to tackle the weighty stuff (over wine of course, but still!). And I’ve found that since becoming a mother, I actually tend more towards both fiction and non-fiction that is utterly different (read: more exotic or challenging or depressing or entirely other from my life experience) from my daily life. So I actually enjoy reading the tough subjects as my escape. I recently finished “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed and it literally helped me get through two weeks of solo parenting, thinking “hey, at least I’m not hiking 1100 miles with only 4 remaining toenails!” ;)

  2. Ooo! I’ve wanted to read “Wild,” too.

    I can definitely relate to not wanting too much heavy stuff, especially related to death and double-especially about kids’ death. Did you ever read the Wally Lamb book? That to me is a good example of just too heavy… I picked it up randomly because my sister left it in the car and a week later, I was telling her that I felt depressed and didn’t know why. She asked, “oh, no! Did you start reading that book?” I guess I love getting carried away by uplifting emotion, trials that lead to something better (even Faust!), but try to stick to nonfiction to inform myself about social injustices, etc. NOT that fiction isn’t powerful and appropriate, just that I know I get carried away by emotion. I think I’ve always been a bit that way, but now can use having kids as a good excuse. And besides, there is so much to love about good classic children’s literature, which is where most of my reading occurs now. Oh, and well written and insightful blogs, too! :-)

  3. Laura, you raise an interesting point. There is something to be said for escapist fiction when you are a mom and find it hard even to escape to the bathroom for a shower.

    In fact, I am remembering that in my life as a mom, I’ve become a huge fan of Mary Stewart’s romantic suspense novels from the 50s and 60s– great stuff (recently reissued). They have mystery, exotic locales, a touch of romance, and intelligent heroines (plus lots of references to classics and history). They are like James Bond for the female set, but without the womanizing (or, in this case, male-izing?).

  4. Therese, I concur on the appeal of reading good kids’ literature. I have lately been having a craving to read “Heidi” again. It’s been what, thirty years???!??